it's like her boobs came off with her bra
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
