you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
