the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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