I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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