but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
