I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
