lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
