He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
