guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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