Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dignity is for republicans.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
