i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
