I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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