angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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