I bet he comes in French.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Randomize
