I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Houston, we have a squirter
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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