wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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