So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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