i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
