so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
