so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
