He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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