i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
