he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
