4 words: hood of his car
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
