I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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