1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
