with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
