i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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