Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
