I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
