I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
