we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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