It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
