Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
