You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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