Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Randomize
