Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
your like the ambassador to my penis.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
