He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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