So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My hand turned me down
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
