Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
They took my balls.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
