SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Fuck appropriateness.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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