Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
