I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
