You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
