handjob tips. give me some.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
