the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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