My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Farmville is her only friend.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
