he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
