you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
