Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
vagina is talking i cant
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
