I'm drive I can fine osifer
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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