hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
