Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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