I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
